Throughout my career, one very big overriding philosophy I’ve had is about the value of choice. I know that the whole idea of ‘keeping your options open’ is trite and overused, but when one can recognize the power that comes with having the means to choose, you can’t unsee it throughout the course of your everyday life.
One of the most frustrating things about consulting or advising is that so often, people have a hard time taking advice about problems that aren’t right in front of them. Getting clients to think about long term care, or estate planning often took a back seat to the things that they were dealing with on a day to day basis – bills, kids, home projects, or what the stock market happened to be doing that particular month/week/day/hour/minute.
Which brings me to my story.
My mother had been having some trouble of varying degrees with her cognition. After her second brain surgery in 2020 we noticed some challenges, but there wasn’t a lot in the way of any answers, and there always seemed to be some underlying assumption that it was a side effect of the radiation and surgery. My mom and dad could still live comfortably and happily without a lot of trouble and there was an underlying assumption that things would improve.
Things never did improve.
My mother has officially been diagnosed with Dementia. Not that it matters. Labeling something doesn’t do anything to help anyone except to just put a name to it. And the speed at which things have happened over the last several months has left the family with some tough choices. My father, who has taken on the extraordinary role of caregiver for my ailing mother is finally starting to ask for help. I don’t blame him one bit. And I only have a sliver of visibility into what he has had to deal with. Luckily, my parents are surrounded by a supportive community, with lots of friends who have either gone through or are going through a similar circumstance. But the trouble is, that only goes so far. Her condition has me worried for both her safety and my father’s sanity.
We have to do something. And if you know anything about the state of long term care in this country, it’s tough. People are living longer and instances of cognitive decline are on the rise. According to a study published by the Alzheimer’s association, deaths reported from Alzheimer’s disease increased 145% from 200-2019, while deaths from stroke, heart disease and HIV all decreased (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36918389/). The number of available beds and caregivers to help families like ours haven’t kept up with demand, making finding care expensive and difficult.
And now we come full circle to the theme of this piece. If there is one big piece of advice I can give, it is this:
Take action, when you can, not when you have to.
And that just doesn’t count for helping your aging parents either. The ability to plan and choose can crop up in many places in your life. For example:
- Do you keep up your professional contacts, in case you lose your job?
- Do you actually maintain your car, or your furnace, or other critical things you need to live your life?
- If you are a business owner, do you have a plan for how to deal with the loss of a key employee or business partner?
- Are you adequately insured against accidents, theft, lawsuits or disasters?
- Does your business have enough liquidity and cash flow to weather a downturn in business?
- Are you wanting to eventually sell your business, but don’t know the steps and time required to prepare it (and yourself) for the sale?
And yes, some of the things that I’m talking about are not actually that likely. We recently moved to a development surrounded by a very large, but sparse forest. We’ve been told that the changes of a fire that takes everything out is extremely low. But with climate change slowly creating more extreme events, how much money and time would I need to invest to create a backup plan for my family? Not much. You can easily build or buy disaster kits online, and it doesn’t take much to stash some cash just in case things go south, and you need to get out of dodge and setup temporary shelter somewhere. I’m the furthest thing from being a prepper, but it doesn’t take a lot of imagination or effort to see risks and make a few small changes to address them. And, if something were to happen, and you were completely blindsided by it, think about the effort it would take to fix the issue if there was no prior thought or preparation.
If risk managing your life or your business is something you haven’t addressed, but would like to, give me a shout at: chuck@cresscila.com. We can talk about where your risks might lie and maybe even some ideas on how to mitigate them.
The more you can address today, before you are forced to, will reduce a lot of stress, and help you sleep better at night. Recognize the choices you have, and don’t be afraid to act on those choices proactively, before you must.